


The Last Bit Of Backstories

by keepquietplease



Series: Sanders Sides First And Last Thing AU [8]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Cannibalism, Degloving, Gen, Kid Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Kid Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Kid Logic | Logan Sanders, Kid Morality | Patton Sanders, Murder, Poison, Poisoning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:41:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26516137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepquietplease/pseuds/keepquietplease
Summary: Author Fact: I know how to shoot a gun because my grandfather wanted to show me how to hunt.  I'm vegetarian, quaker, and anti-gun, but I do know how to shoot one as long as it's a hunting rifle or BB gun.I, also, have never gone hunting.  He just set me up in his backyard.  He gave me ear plugs and warned me it would push back once I shot.  Never used this information until this story.
Series: Sanders Sides First And Last Thing AU [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913083
Comments: 31
Kudos: 98





	1. Roman and Remus

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hot_mess_express](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hot_mess_express/gifts).



> Author Fact: I know how to shoot a gun because my grandfather wanted to show me how to hunt. I'm vegetarian, quaker, and anti-gun, but I do know how to shoot one as long as it's a hunting rifle or BB gun.  
> I, also, have never gone hunting. He just set me up in his backyard. He gave me ear plugs and warned me it would push back once I shot. Never used this information until this story.

Roman and Remus liked to joke that they were telepathic. They claimed they could communicate just by thinking, and that they shared dreams. They always dressed the same, trying to confuse everyone they met. They didn't lie, technically. They often shared disturbing dreams. It started when they were six. They both had a dream of killing their father, and almost immediately they decided that was what they had to do. They both went to their father, and as sweetly as they could, they asked him to take them hunting. He agreed, promising to take them once it was the weekend. Both boys were happy, going to school with big smiles. They were on their best behavior all week. The dreams continued, and the twins had a perfect plan by the time it was Friday night. Roman would ask for a hug or forehead kiss after he did something right. Once they got into position, Remus would shoot their father through the head. They'd pack wipes to get rid of their fingerprints after they placed their dad's gun in his hands. They'd steal his cellular device, call their mother, and put on a show. They'd say their daddy shot himself out of nowhere. They both perfected fake crying in the past week.

Finally, the day came. They already knew how to shoot a hunting rifle. They had been hunting for a year with their father. He took them to the usual place. Lots of deer and turkeys lived there, so it was perfect for them. Their plan was in motion the minute Roman got a turkey, a big smile on his face. He turned to his father, pointing.

"Daddy! Look! I shot a bird!"

"Good job." His father patted his head, taking them to see the turkey. It was dead, alright. He leaned down to kiss Roman's head, freezing when he felt the cold metal of Remus' gun. "Boys, what did Daddy say about playing with firearms?"

"We're not playing." Remus said before pulling the trigger. Roman backed up quickly, avoiding the blood splatter. They both were exhilarated. "Wow Ro, you see the blood and brains?"

"I was hoping for more than that." Roman said, kicking the body. Their father was still groaning. "Why's he alive?"

"I shot him. Want me to shoot again?"

"Daddy, how long do you think you'll still be alive?"

Their father groaned, reaching out. Both twins stepped back, holding their guns.

"That's not an answer." Roman sat down on the ground. "So we just wait until he dies?"

"I guess. Think we can still bring the bird home?"

"Mommy will be too upset to cook a bird. We have to pretend to be upset. No birds."

"I'm hungry."

Both boys turned to their dying dad before turning to each other.

"Re? Aren't bears are in the area?"

"I think so."

"No one would question the body. We could eat our dad."

"Mommy says raw meat is bad. You have fire?"

"No."

"Aw man."

The twins watched as their father stopped twitching, finally giving in and dying in front of them. They moved his hands and put his gun in one of them, wiping it down. Roman grabbed the phone, pausing.

"What's our home number?"

"Daddy should have contacts. Mommy's name is Linda."

"There's two Lindas in here."

"Call one of them. We'll just start crying if it is or isn't her."

Roman pressed the first one, taking a moment to force tears in his eyes. Remus followed his lead as someone picked up. It wasn't their mother. 

"Hello?" Another woman's voice came through. "Don? Is something wrong?"

"Our daddy shot himself!" Roman screeched, beginning to sob over the line. He heard shuffling.

"Oh god, are you Don's boys? Where are you?"

"W-we don't know! We went hunting, and he-he turned the gun on himself. He shot himself." Remus said, sniffling. Both boys were hovering over the phone, trying to hold in laughter. "We're scared! We're lost and alone!"

"I'm going to call your mom. You two stay put and wait for help to come. I have to hang up, okay?"

"Okay." Both of them said, hearing the click. Instantly, they started cackling. Roman wiped the tears from his cheek, whistling. Remus inspected their dad's body for his wallet. He found it, opening it up. There wasn't much money, but there were gift cards and his ID.

"I was hoping he'd have spending money for us." Remus said, putting the wallet back. "I wanted to get burgers on the way home. Maybe we should've killed him after getting burgers."

"Mommy will buy us burgers. We just saw our daddy kill himself. She'll buy us anything."

"We can't just ask for burgers."

"We'll wait. She'll offer us anything for dinner. Hey, I'm gonna eat some of his raw brain. Want some?"

"A bite. Don't want to get sick."

Roman picked up some of the brains that came out, picking off the pieces that had dirt on them. He gave Remus a piece before placing his in his mouth, chewing loudly. "Strong taste."

"I like it!"

"Me too, but it's strong."

"Maybe it tastes not strong cooked?"

"I hope so."

The twins waited, listening for footsteps or car wheels. They couldn't believe how long it was taking for someone to get them. Honestly, their father just died! Why was everyone taking forever to help kids they assumed were traumatized? Finally, they heard people calling their names. They both took a second to get fake tears welling up again, and then they ran to the sound of voices, screaming for help. They collided with their mother, fully in tears, and told her everything. She looked defeated and heartbroken, but she held on to her boys.

Her two perfect angels.

* * *

The dreams continued. Both boys were convinced it was a message from god. They were chosen to kill and eat people for the betterment of the world. They did it secretly and quietly. Homeless people were their main targets. People that weren't in shelters, specifically. They never got caught or noticed because they were careful. Their dear mother was still grief-stricken all these years later. She tried to be strong, she really did, but she was breaking down. She wasn't eating with them--which they were thankful for, looking at their diet--and she quit her job.

That's when they started having dreams about killing her.

Wonderful dreams of cooking her flesh and serving it as dinner. Dreams of boiling her alive. Dreams of putting her over a fire to roast gently until she was cooked perfectly. They had gotten rather talented at their craft. Roman did the killing and Remus did the cooking. They couldn't have an incident where their victim was slowly dying. They planned to do it a couple days after their birthday. They'd do something simple. Kill her, cut off her face, and make snacks with her skin. They'd need to make a lot before leaving. They'd be running away after the deed.

The twins crept out of their room, seeing their mom mindlessly watch the television. She wasn't paying attention to the show or to them. She never paid attention anymore. Roman walked to her slowly, hiding the knife behind his back.

"Mama?" Roman whispered, gaining no response. "Mama, it's time to die."

He quickly stabbed her as soon as she realized what he was saying. Then he pulled the knife out and stabbed her again and again. After the first stab, she started pleading with them, but Roman kept it up. She figured it out, screaming they killed their father. Remus gave a thumbs up, smiling. She repeated her words until she died, slumping over in the armchair. He gave the knife to Remus who began to cut around her arm. He degloved her, making a small pile of skin and flesh as he carved. Then he went to her face, carefully slicing. Roman got a jar to put blood in. Once that was filled, he got another. She was mostly skinned at that point. Remus already put everything in the oven, setting a timer for it to cook. They ate her one arm raw, sending a message to whoever found her. They were ruthless. 

They went to go pack. They needed the essentials. Money? Check. Weapons? Check. Stuffed animals? Check.

They were ready.

* * *

"So you want us to join what?"

"It's a small group. It's just so we can help each other out when we're in a rough spot. I heard about you two awhile ago from a little boy, but I didn't seek you out until today."

The twins exchanged glances. At age twenty, they were hesitant when this guy started talking to them. He gave them a business card with a smile.

"We work alone." Roman said, folding the card. "We don't like getting attached to people. We'll be sent to kill them if that happens."

The man gave another business card, this one with the label 'psychologist' on it. "And I'd be glad to discuss that with you as well. I've worked with many of our members to make sure they're not self-destructive. I'll be honest, it's hard to be invited into the family. I'd take this opportunity now instead of waiting. I'd be happy to introduce you to the heads of the family. Two wonderful ladies. Don't worry. There are two young men around your age in the family. One of them is a year or two older, but I doubt it'll be a problem. I'll ask again. Would you like to join our family?"

They looked at each other. Remus gave a shrug, taking the business card. He read it, flipping it over to reveal nothing but a smiley face. He looked at Roman again. "I mean, it can't hurt? We've been alone for so long. When we got in trouble, we almost lost everything. We may need help."

"I doubt we need that much help, but fine, we'll hear you out. Where are you located?"

"Just a few towns over. I made a bit of a journey to get to you. The heads of our family live in the city, near a small gas station. I'll drive my car, and you can follow if you want. I do have to go to work in the morning, so I won't be staying long, but I'd be glad to introduce you. The heads' son sent me, actually. He'll be thrilled to know you're coming."

"We didn't agree to join. We're just visiting." Roman stated, glancing at his brother. "If we both enjoy what we find, we'll stay."

"Excellent." The man said, smiling again.


	2. Janus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, Janus is now canonically 12 years older than Virgil.  
> I don't... I don't know why you're expecting serial killers to have close age relationships.

They had been together for awhile now. Their relationship was completely loving, and Janus had never been happier. He just recently married his partner. They were both twenty six. He loved him so much, and he would do anything for him. He had it all planned out. He'd make him a fancy dinner--he had been perfecting lobster scampi--and take him star gazing. After that, they'd watch a movie on the couch. Tonight wasn't special. Well, it was. Janus didn't know why that night was special, but it was. He could feel it. He was making the dish just as he had practiced. Cooking the shellfish and making sure the pasta was the right level of soft. He peaked into the fridge, making sure the wine was chilled. It was fine. He stopped, staring at the lobster tails. 

He knew why tonight was special.

Without a second thought, he grabbed the drain cleaner and poured a tiny bit on the shellfish. Then he poured more in, adding more garlic to hide the smell. He knew what would happen. He was, after all, a nurse at their local hospital. He knew his love would die without help--fuck, even with help, he may not make it. Still, he kept cooking as normal, smiling. He finished preparing the meal, making a plate for his partner but throwing his own out. He set it on the table, sitting down as he waited for a knock at his door. Once he heard it, he opened the door and kissed his husband gently, pulling him inside. He pulled out his chair, sitting across from him.

"Wow, special night tonight?" His spouse asked with a laugh, looking at the plate. "I thought tonight was our get-drunk-and-eat-junk-food night."

"A very special night." Janus said, tapping his fingers on the table. "Please eat."

He watched as his love began to eat, making a small face. "Huh, weird taste. Uh, did you experiment tonight? I think you added too much garlic."

"Did I?"

His love put a hand to his throat, laughing nervously. Janus raised an eyebrow, feeling his whole body go warm. His husband started convulsing, gripping the table. He puked up blood all over the table, falling to the floor. Janus stayed in his seat, calm. He let out a small breath of relief as his husband reached out, beginning to choke on his blood. Janus waited, getting up and clearing the plate. He stared at his husband, a sincere smile gracing his face.

"I'm sorry, love. It just felt right. I think you overstayed your welcome in my heart. I needed to do this."

His husband gave a choked response.

"I don't know what to do. I've never killed someone before. I never felt the urge. I still don't. I just knew you had to die for some reason. It made me happy and warm. I don't think I can kill people without having a romantic connection to them. I'm so sorry, my love."

A gurgle.

"I think I'll have to burn your body. They'll be able to detect the drain cleaner. I could stage a whole thing, but I don't know if I could handle it. We both know I can lie, but I think you deserve better. If you just happened to go missing, it would make more sense. No one would know. I would, but that's fine. I'll play the widower. Maybe I'll date again, but I don't think I'll ever marry after you. I think marriage was the mistake. I had to kill you because I married you. Next time I won't propose. Maybe that would keep my love safe." Janus stopped, feeling his phone buzz. "Oh dear, I have to go back to work. They need an overnight nurse. I'm going to go now. Please know I wish I could be here when you passed. I feel like it's insulting to leave. Goodbye love. I'll call the police once I get home."

Janus heard one last plea as he cleaned up the plates and took out the trash. He gave one last glance towards the front door before going to the hospital as he secured his alibi.

* * *

"I got home, and he was gone. It's been four days, officer." Janus dabbed his eyes gently, sniffing. "I miss my husband."

"Sir, I'm sorry. Do you suspect it was a hate crime of any sort?"

"I don't know. We live so far away from our neighbors, and I don't know if they're homophobic. We never had trouble in the past. I don't think I'd be able to sleep knowing someone hurt him when I wasn't there to help him. I'm hoping you can find him soon. Do you have any ideas of who could've taken him?"

"I hate to say it, sir, but you're the prime suspect for his disappearance." 

"I'm what? I would never hurt him! I love my husband! I just want you to find him! Why would I call you if I--oh god. First I lose him, and now this?"

"You're still going to have to take a lie detecter test if you want to be completely free of suspicion."

Janus knew this would be coming. He had been preparing for this. He knew how to lie well enough that even he believed it. If anything, he was excited for this part. Still, he had to play the part. "You can ask my coworkers! I was at work when he disappeared! Please, I just want you to find him."

"We have people searching, sir. You still have to come to the station."

"Okay. I'll do it. Anything so I can get him back. I'm sorry for being so emotional. I'm sure you can understand why I'm upset. I've been throwing myself into my work to distract myself from the fact he's gone. Today is the first day I took off. I just can't handle thinking about him dead or hurt or--" Janus managed a choked sob, covering his face. "Oh god."

"It's going to be okay, sir."

"Can I offer you any tea? I've been such a dreadful host. Let me put the kettle on." Janus got up, going to the kitchen. He put water up, feeling a sense of relief when he didn't feel the need to kill the officer. His hypothesis was right. He just liked killing romantic partners. He turned around, wiping his eyes again. "Can I offer something to eat? I have cheese and crackers. I have cookies. Oh, chocolate walnut cookies were his favorite. Please take those from me. I can't bear having them in the house. I suppose I could throw them out, but if you want them, you can take them."

"Thank you sir, but I'm good. Really, we need to go down to the station soon."

"Oh, of course. I still insist you have some tea. I need to calm down a bit beforehand anyway. Tea always helps. I don't want to get emotional and waste your time. I'll put my tea in a thermos so we can leave once it's done. Do you want to borrow a coffee cup or thermos? I can lend you one so you can have some too."

"I'm fine, sir."

"Alright. It'll only take a minute. Then we can go. I'm sorry about the delay."

"It's fine, sir. Just hurry it up."

"Of course."

* * *

Janus had a nice system. He'd date someone for less than a year, kill them, and then discard the body. He always had an alibi, and he got better with poisons. He stole some things from his job, and some of his creations were of his own making. He learned his craft well, and he never let anyone know what he was doing. He never made a news headline after his first murder. He matured. He was twenty nine now. He had two serious relationships after his husband, and both of them were dead. He felt bad, sure, but not bad enough to stop. He gained a sick sort of pleasure from watching the life drain from their eyes. He tried killing someone he didn't know, and he hated every second of it. It had to be someone he was in love with. Not a stranger, not a friend, not family, but a lover.

He could easily not have a lover. He could live without a partner. He would do so happily. He just liked the thrill of killing them. He liked watching them realize he poisoned them. He would record it if he could, but he wasn't allowed to have any evidence against him.

There was a knock at his door. He got up, opening it to reveal a man he'd soon come to respect. Remus was standing there, hand up as if he was going to knock again. He smiled, waving. "Hi!"

"Hello. Do I know you?" Janus stepped back, motioning for him to come in. He assumed it was another Jehovah witness. They started frequenting the area recently. He listened to their spiel each time, politely declining by the end.

"No, but I know you. Well, you might know me. I'm Remus Johnson."

"Oh my. Am I about to be killed and eaten? Where's your brother?"

"I'm here purely on business. Roman's at home. I offered to recruit until our usual guy gets out of jail. May I sit?"

"Be my guest."

Remus sat on his couch, grinning. Janus closed the door, joining him. He sat across from Remus, folding his hands on his lap. Remus pulled out a business card, handing it to him. "So, I don't know if you've heard of The Happy Family."

"I have not." Janus replied, returning the smile. "Care for anything to drink or eat?"

"I'm good. My diet is very specific. I only break it for certain occasions like family meet ups. You've been invited to join us."

"Is your organization primarily for active killers? I don't kill often enough to be considered active."

"Oh, we're aware. I got clearance from Pat to invite you. He's primarily in charge now, so it's fine. I like your work. I think it's fun! Ro agrees. I promise the family isn't terrible to be a part of. Sometimes there are gatherings, but they're not often. Sometimes we have dinner, but it's usually just with Pat and Lo. It'd be nice to add a new face. We keep the whole group platonic, so you don't need to worry about having to kill us."

"And what are your benefits?"

"We help with cleanup, plotting, and general well being. It's nice to have friends you can be honest with, right?"

"I suppose. Alright. I'll give you a try. When do you meet?"

"It's not really set in stone, but I can call you the next time we're meeting and send the address. Let me have your number."

Janus raised an eyebrow, getting up and grabbing a notepad. He wrote down his phone number, ripping off the sheet and handing it to Remus. "I look forward to our future contact, I suppose."

"You won't regret it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author fact: I'm the peaceful version of Janus. Anytime I feel a relationship getting more committed or in depth, I break up with my partner. It's because I'm aroace, and I want a platonic relationship but I keep dating people who gain feelings for me, and I have to go 'alright bye now we're not dating anymore.'  
> I'm friends with the majority of my exes, but I don't blame the one who got mad we broke up after we kissed for the first time. After him, I started telling people I'd break up with them before we started dating. I managed to date two more people after that.
> 
> Also, I'm thinking of doing another smut thing because I feel slightly more confident, but that means a break from murder. You come here for blood. You don't come here to see Virgil get laid.


	3. Logan

Logan's sister was always in the hospital. The doctor's said it was a problem with her kidneys, and they were still waiting for a donor. Logan wasn't a match, so he wasn't able to donate. The doctors were searching for a possible candidate. It was upsetting to see her like this. She was Logan's one and only guardian. She looked weaker each time he visited, and Logan did his best to be a good brother. He would bring her food, entertainment, and anything he could to see her get better. His sister would always smile, ruffle his hair, and ask him about his day. It was a routine that they enjoyed. It's just that Logan enjoyed it too much. He was very happy with taking care of sick people, and his sister said it was because he had a big heart.

They would talk about Logan's classes. He was learning multiplication, and he had a lot to show off. He memorized his time tables recently. His sister would listen, drifting in and out. He didn't mind if she fell asleep. He enjoyed being in her company and taking care of her. The doctors started to joke that he was their intern because he would always offer to help out. They gave him fake medical charts--ones they created after his sister had been in there for three months--and ask him for his diagnosis. He would spend hours researching medical history and diseases. He particularly liked psychology due to the fact it had to do with the brain, but he still studied everything that he could. Sometimes, if his sister was asleep, he was allowed to shadow doctors. They had to ask permission of the patient first, but more often than not, Logan was allowed to come in. Most people seemed happy to see a little kid pretending to be a doctor and jot down notes about their medical history. Of course, some people didn't like kids, but they declined Logan being in the room before he could find that out. His main concern was always his sister, but he still enjoyed the smiles and joy he gave from helping people who were sick.

Then he started to wonder why that feeling only had to come from the hospital?

He decided it didn't. He started getting his friends sick just so he could heal them. At first it was harmless. Asking if they could play hide and seek in the rain with him. He'd hide in his house--he knew it was cheating, but he didn't care--and wait for hours until sneaking back outside and pretending he hid somewhere hard to reach. His friends would get a cold, and he'd take care of them.

Then it stopped being harmless.

Logan would give his friends moldy food. He'd sneak laxatives in their snacks. He liked being a good friend and taking care of them, but they had to be sick first. One of his friends, Patton, knew what he was doing and promised not to tell as long as he didn't get sick himself. Logan agreed as he kept getting more and more adventurous with his care-taking. His one friend died because Logan found a used needle and tried to see what would happen if it was reused. That friend went into the hospital, and he never came back. Logan sometimes gave them too many pills, and he had to watch them die. Just small pills that made their stomach hurt or make them puke. Perfectly safe if done in small douses, but he was still an amateur at this point. He had one friend fall into a coma and never recover from that.

Then it came to his sister.

He read somewhere that you could tamper with an IV. Just to make the person more sick; not to kill them. He wanted to give it a try to see if his sister would need more help. He came to visit, as normal, and waited until she fell asleep. Once she did, he disabled the security cameras in her room. He didn't want to get caught, after all. He must've done something wrong when he tried his experiment because she died without ever knowing Logan messed with the solution going into her. He realized he had a problem then and there, and he promised himself he would never make another person sick on purpose. Not after his sister died. 

He wasn't faking his anguish. He was devastated that his sister died. He couldn't go to the funeral because he was so upset at the thought of seeing her casket. He did more research into hacking and disabling things to distract himself. He could've been sneakier with his past job. He did get questioned by officers after that, but they couldn't really find evidence he did anything. Plus, he was crying and freaking out too much for them to actually accomplish an interview with him. If he kept killing, he had to be smarter about it. He taught himself how to code and infiltrate systems. He was responsible for his school losing power multiple times. He stole frequently, realizing he could just erase the footage of him doing it. He could alter the footage, too. Make it seem like nothing happened during the time he stole shit. He enjoyed that power, and it helped him cope over the loss of his sister. Around that time, Patton's family started treating him as one of their own. He spent everyday with them, offering his technological services to help with any crimes they may have committed. He liked that family. Patton was the one who taught him how to kill, and he made his own style after that. He used his skills and brain to his advantage. Every murder he committed after that point was carefully calculated. He'd write out his plans on a chalkboard, going through what could make it not work and how to adjust. It was all a theorem that he was trying to prove, and he loved every second of it.

If only his sister was there to see it.

* * *

"So you're technically in charge now, right?" Logan asked Patton, stretching his arms. They had been studying for hours. Patton claimed college was worthless since he wouldn't be getting a job besides killing, but Logan insisted that his degree would prove useful one day. His best example was their recruiter who kept discussing a little boy who knew who they all were and was starstruck. He had a real job, so why couldn't Logan if he so pleased? "That's exciting."

"I guess. I mean, I'm allowed to expand our family, but only a bit. I don't have full control yet. I want to bring those twins into our family. I think that would be fun. Have some excitement. Plus, I want people my age. All I have is you."

"And I'm not enough?"

Patton cracked a smile at that, poking him. "You know what I meant."

"I do. I'm sure we need some people our ages. It can't be good for our development. The twins are exactly your age, aren't they?"

"Yep! Then you'll have to babysit three of us!"

"I will do no such thing. I'll clear your traces, but I refuse to babysit. We both know what happens when I'm in charge of taking care of people."

"Yeah, whatever. Are you done studying yet? I'm bored. I want to go killing."

"I suppose I could take a break. Shall we bring them back here for you to kill or go out? I won't be doing clean up for you."

"Ugh, I need a house cleaner. Maybe I should steal one."

"You'd kill them right away and dirty the house again."

"What if I just killed them if they did a bad job of cleaning? I bet I could keep a good cleaner without killing them. I'd keep them in the basement."

"You'd still kill them. You always kill people you don't need. Sooner or later, you'll find the cleaning meaningless, and we'll be back at square one. Go for it if you want."

"You're frustrating sometimes, but you're right. Maybe in a couple years. Still gotta grow up, I guess. It's fine."

Logan chuckled, putting his textbook down. He watched as Patton pulled out a map of their town, looking for a new place to go to. They may have to go further out this time. They both didn't mind the travel. Logan was happy to spend time with his friend, and Patton was happy to murder someone. The reverse was true as well. Logan found murder fun even without making someone sick, and Patton clung to Logan like a lost child when they were together. They worked well together.

Logan was one of the first recruits into the family, and he was happy to be part of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author fact: I get three guaranteed quizzes per week (calc III, linear algebra, and physics).  
> It's. . . it's rough.  
> I love being a math major, though.


	4. Patton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Rosh Hashanah (it's a new year for me! Yay Jewish new year). This may get posted today (19th) or tomorrow depending on whether or not cooking takes up my whole day. Yom Kippur is really the only holiday I can see myself not writing because I'll be fasting and praying. Let's see if this holiday is off limits too.  
> Also, when I write on Passover? No bread. There will be no risen food because if I can't eat it, the stories I write can't have it.

Patton technically killed someone for the first time when he was three. He remembered it faintly. His one mother was holding his hand, helping him drive the knife into the victim's ear. His other mom was cheering, clapping as her baby killed his first person. He didn't remember much else. He, again, was three. Still, he was aware of his purpose by then. He was a killer, and he would be good at it. He kept it up as he grew up. He was still a child, though. His mothers sent him to school with a lot of hesitance. They didn't want their baby to get the wrong idea about the world. It was cruel and dark, and it was their job to make it better. They were, after all, The Happy Family. The only good news they got was that he made friends with the weird, quiet kid in his school. That was promising.

Patton got good grades. He was friendly and a model student. His teachers loved him and always sent him home with gold stars. He said he had some fun there, but he didn't want to keep going. He liked killing much more than he did spelling. He knew he would have to continue his education, but he wasn't happy about it. Still, he was allowed to bring friends home so they could "play" with him. The only friend who was safe was the weird kid, Logan. Patton thought he was cool, so he could come over to actually play real games. His mothers brought him friends if they could find kids on their way home. Patton had fun with them. He practiced his sewing with them. They usually died before he finished, but he was learning how to sew lips and eyes shut. He was doing a pretty good job recently. No fatalities for the last three until he was ready to kill them. His recent masterpiece was this kid his parents found in the woods. He sewed the kid's nose, mouth, eyes, and ears up. He wanted to see if the kid would suffocate. If he did a good job, they would.

Burying was part of the process. They'd go to the woods to do it, and Patton was getting good at digging. His mothers would praise him for doing a good job, offering ice cream or toys if he wanted. Patton usually declined, just asking if he could bury the next one alive. Usually the answer was no. His parents were firm believers of killing the person before burial. A shame, really, but they promised he could kill however he wanted when he was older. For now, he had to just kill first and bury afterwards.

He was sitting on his bed, doing homework. He found it pointless doing silly things like vocabulary cards and adding numbers. He knew what he was doing. He glanced up when he heard the door open, getting up and leaving his room to say hello.

"Hi dear! Want to help us with dinner? We're making spaghetti!" His one mother asked, clapping her hands. 

"Can we have butter on it?" Patton asked, already going to the kitchen to get a pot. He started filling it with water, smiling when he felt a hug. "Good day?"

"A perfect day! Yes, we can put butter on it. We found ourselves a new recruiter today! Good man. I think you'll like him. He works with kids! He might be able to find you friends! How was school?"

"Boring. Logan didn't come in today. I think he was visiting his sister. I had to play with an older kid, and he didn't like the game we played."

"What game did you play?" His other mother asked, hanging up her jacket.

"We played never have I ever. Instead of putting his fingers down, I cut them off. He screamed a lot, so we played doctor next! I got rid of his vocal chords for him, but sadly the operation was unsuccessful, and our patient passed away. I buried his body in the woods when you were out. It took awhile to get there, but I didn't have any trouble carrying him. I had to dismember him first to get all the parts to fit in my suitcase, but I did it!"

"Aw, our strong boy. We got you a treat today! We got a strawberry shortcake cupcake! You want it before or after dinner?"

"After! I want spaghetti first!"

"Alright! It should take ten minutes for the water to boil at most. Want to make a salad?"

"Ew."

"Veggies are important, dear. We can put clementines in it and use the cherry vinaigrette. Make a sweet salad!"

"Strawberry vinaigrette, and it's a deal."

"Alright honey."

Patton watched as they got out arugula, clementines, and tomatoes. "I think when I'm older, I'm going to kidnap a chef. They'll make me meals everyday."

"We make you meals."

"When I'm a grown up! I want someone to do it for me when I'm an adult!"

"What if we get a killer who's a chef in our family?" 

"I want someone disposable in case I get mad."

His moms laughed at that, ruffling his hair. His glasses went slightly askew, making him readjust them.

"What's funny?"

"Oh, honey, that's what I said when I was your age." His one mother said, bending down. "I wanted someone disposable who I could use, so I put out an ad for a nanny for you when you were a new born, and--"

"And I happened to want to kill a rich person, so I posed as a nanny." His other mother kissed her wife's head. "It was very tense the first couple of weeks, but we found out and the rest is history. We did kill your grandparents, but they also deserved it."

"Oh, Miriam, you can't marry a maid!" His one mom said in a shrill mockery. She rolled her eyes, standing up straight. "Guess I could."

"So I could marry my chef." Patton said as if he just discovered the secret of the universe.

"Make sure you're safe. They may be using your emotions to escape. Make sure your threats are clear until they stop plotting to escape. We lucked out and got each other, but you can never be too careful. I think having you as my son helped my case as far as living goes."

"Yeah, the kid kind of sold it for me. I met you when you were just a little baby, and I knew I was either marrying your mom or kidnapping you. Luckily, Miriam had a mutual attraction."

Patton smiled as his moms kissed, climbing up a stool to help make the salad. This was normal for him. To be fair, his parents loved each other and him. Their story was a disturbing meet cute if anything. It just had a dash of murderous intent from both parties, so he assumed that was normal. 

"I think we should invite Logan to join our family soon." Patton said, grabbing cranberries to add. "He likes hurting people."

"One day we will. We have to make sure he can kill first, alright? We trust your judgement, but he's still hesitant. He does show promise." Miriam pinched his cheek. "Hey, leave space for the arugula."

"But it's yucky."

"It's good for you."

Patton made a face before he stopped pouring in the fruit. He told them about the trip to the woods. He had to lie and pretend he was visiting his grandparents because a couple people stopped him to ask where he was going. He debated adding more to his body count, but he decided not to since he couldn't fit anymore body parts in his suitcase. He felt very lucky to have his parents who listened and gave tips on how to expand his luggage space to fit more people. Once the spaghetti was ready, they set the table and ate.

He loved his family.

* * *

"Oh dear, we almost got you a friend. A little boy with all these bruises. He's so much younger and weaker than you; you would've been able to play a lot of games." Miriam said, looking at her wife. "Right Sharon?"

"Such an interesting boy. Should we be calling child services? He looked miserable."

"Probably, but I don't know if we'd be safe doing that. They may try to find out about us if we do."

"You're right. We did offer to steal him, and he said no."

"Why didn't you bring him?" Patton asked, frowning. He wanted to test out a new knife he got.

"I think he has promise. He seemed a little obsessed with killers, so we gave him our card in case he ever wanted to make the jump."

Patton nodded, leaning against his moms. They were watching a movie together. He got older, and Logan was officially a member of their family. He was given more freedom with his killing. He liked rearranging organs and seeing what could leave his victims alive the longest. "Can we play a board game tonight? I want to pick it out."

"Hm, depends, how did your math quiz go?"

"I got a B!"

"Alright, then yes. You pick out whatever game you want to play. If you got below a C, we would pick out the game. It would be monopoly."

"I hate monopoly."

"Which is why we would play it."

"Gross. I hate that. Alright. Can I invite Logan over?"

"Yes."

Patton was nudged off the couch to get a game of his choosing. He pulled out a deck of cards so they could play BS. He got rather good at the game, but his one mom always won in the end. She was very good at lying, and he respected that. He went to their landline, dialing Logan's home number. He agreed to come over, promising to be there soon. The more the merrier, Patton thought.

* * *

"I'm going to go to the bus stop tonight and steal someone. I'm going to find one person and spare them so they can clean my house. It's too messy. I did all this work fixing the cabin up. I need to keep it nice." Patton said over the phone. He was packing up his knives as he was on a group call.

"Gonna kill them?" Remus asked.

"He has to." Logan commented, and Patton could hear him drumming his fingers against a counter. "You can't just let them go after they see what you do, or are you going to keep them?"

"I'm keeping them if they do a good job. If they don't, I'm burying them alive. Don't want the house to get all bloody after they cleaned it. I'll just try again tomorrow if I don't get a good one."

"Don't get attached," Janus hissed. "You don't want that to happen."

"I won't get attached. That's so stupid. I'm going to break them, make them clean and cook for me, and I'll remind them they're worthless and expendable each and every day. I'm going to keep them in the basement. It'll be fun! I promise I won't get attached. Only an idiot would get feelings for their captive. I'll kill them before that happens. If they turn out to be a killer, I may invite them to the family, but I doubt it. Okay, I'm going to go to the bus stop. Wish me luck!"

He heard a chorus of good luck before he hung up, ignoring when Roman asked to borrow his cleaner.

It was time to fulfill his purpose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author fact: uhhhhh, y'all know Sky High? Yeah, so Mary Elizabeth Winstead? I will watch anything she's in. I know she's known for so much more now, and I'm aware Sky High had many memorable actors and actresses, but I think the first role I saw her in made me happy. She wasn't a childhood crush at all (Layla was because she can control plants and I wanted that). I just think she's neat! I just watched Final Destination 3 recently, and she's the main character.
> 
> Another small author fact: yes, the final destination series isn't considered as a serious horror franchise, but I like them. They make me laugh. A nice break from the real world. It's why I'll watch The Bye Bye Man when I feel stressed. Horror movies that aren't serious and/or good make me laugh and relax. I don't need to pay attention if it's not needed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading the backstories


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